Forget Me Not
It is my prayer and blessing that you will never forget that you are truly precious daughters in God’s kingdom.
My
dear sisters, what a joy it is to be with you today. I always look
forward to this annual general Relief Society meeting and the excellent
messages given here. Thank you, sisters. It is a precious honor for me
to be assigned by President Thomas S. Monson to speak today and to add a few thoughts addressing the sisters of the Church.
A while ago I was walking through a beautiful garden with my wife and daughter. I marveled at the glory and beauty of God’s creation. And then I noticed, among all the glorious blooms, the tiniest flower. I knew the name of this flower because since I was a child I have had a tender connection to it. The flower is called forget-me-not.
I’m
not exactly sure why this tiny flower has meant so much to me over the
years. It does not attract immediate attention; it is easy to overlook
among larger and more vibrant flowers; yet it is just as beautiful,
with its rich color that mirrors that of the bluest skies—perhaps this
is one reason why I like it so much.
And
there is the haunting plea of its name. There is a German legend that
just as God had finished naming all the plants, one was left unnamed. A
tiny voice spoke out, “Forget me not, O Lord!” And God replied that
this would be its name.
Tonight
I would like to use this little flower as a metaphor. The five petals
of the little forget-me-not flower prompt me to consider five things we
would be wise never to forget.
First, forget not to be patient with yourself.
I want to tell you something that I hope you will take in the right way: God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect.
Let me add: God is also fully aware that the people you think are perfect are not.
And
yet we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to
others—usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. This drives
us to create expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet. As
a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be
less than what someone else does.
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.
It’s wonderful that you have strengths.
And it is part of your mortal experience that you do have weaknesses.
God wants to help us to eventually turn all of our weaknesses into strengths,1 but He knows that this is a long-term goal. He wants us to become perfect,2
and if we stay on the path of discipleship, one day we will. It’s OK
that you’re not quite there yet. Keep working on it, but stop punishing
yourself.
Dear
sisters, many of you are endlessly compassionate and patient with the
weaknesses of others. Please remember also to be compassionate and
patient with yourself.
In the meantime, be thankful for all the small successes in your home, your family relationships, your education and livelihood, your Church participation and personal improvement. Like the forget-me-nots,
these successes may seem tiny to you and they may go unnoticed by
others, but God notices them and they are not small to Him. If you
consider success to be only the most perfect rose or dazzling orchid,
you may miss some of life’s sweetest experiences.
For
example, insisting that you have a picture-perfect family home evening
each week—even though doing so makes you and everyone around you
miserable—may not be the best choice. Instead, ask yourself, “What
could we do as a family that would be enjoyable and spiritual and bring
us closer together?” That family home evening—though it may be modest
in scope and execution—may have far more positive long-term results.
Our journey toward perfection is long, but we can find wonder and delight in even the tiniest steps in that journey.
Second, forget not the difference between a good sacrifice and a foolish sacrifice.
An acceptable sacrifice is when we give up something good for something of far greater worth.
Giving
up a little sleep to help a child who is having a nightmare is a good
sacrifice. We all know this. Staying up all night, jeopardizing our own
health, to make the perfect accessory for a daughter’s Sunday outfit
may not be such a good sacrifice.
Dedicating
some of our time to studying the scriptures or preparing to teach a
lesson is a good sacrifice. Spending many hours stitching the title of
the lesson into homemade pot holders for each member of your class
perhaps may not be.
Every person and situation is different, and a good sacrifice in one instance might be a foolish sacrifice in another.
How
can we tell the difference for our own situation? We can ask ourselves,
“Am I committing my time and energies to the things that matter most?”
There are so many good things to do, but we can’t do all of them. Our
Heavenly Father is most pleased when we sacrifice something good for
something far greater with an eternal perspective. Sometimes, that may
even mean nurturing small but beautiful forget-me-not flowers instead
of a large garden of exotic blooms.
Third, forget not to be happy now.
In the beloved children’s story Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,
the mysterious candy maker Willy Wonka hides a golden ticket in five of
his candy bars and announces that whoever finds one of the tickets wins
a tour of his factory and a lifetime supply of chocolate.
Written
on each golden ticket is this message: “Greetings to you, the lucky
finder of this Golden Ticket … ! Tremendous things are in store for
you! Many wonderful surprises await you! … Mystic and marvelous
surprises … will … delight, … astonish, and perplex you.”3
In
this classic children’s story, people all over the world desperately
yearn to find a golden ticket. Some feel that their entire future
happiness depends on whether or not a golden ticket falls into their
hands. In their anxiousness, people begin to forget the simple joy they
used to find in a candy bar. The candy bar itself becomes an utter
disappointment if it does not contain a golden ticket.
So
many people today are waiting for their own golden ticket—the ticket
that they believe holds the key to the happiness they have always
dreamed about. For some, the golden ticket may be a perfect marriage;
for others, a magazine-cover home or perhaps freedom from stress or
worry.
There
is nothing wrong with righteous yearnings—we hope and seek after things
that are “virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy.”4 The problem comes when we put our happiness on hold as we wait for some future event—our golden ticket—to appear.
One
woman wanted more than anything else to marry a righteous priesthood
holder in the temple and be a mother and a wife. She had dreamed about
this all her life, and oh, what a wonderful mother and loving wife she
would be. Her home would be filled with loving-kindness. Never a bitter
word would be spoken. The food would never burn. And her children,
instead of hanging out with their friends, would prefer to spend their
evenings and weekends with Mom and Dad.
This
was her golden ticket. It was the one thing upon which she felt her
whole existence depended. It was the one thing in all the world for
which she most desperately yearned.
But
it never happened. And, as the years went on, she became more and more
withdrawn, bitter, and even angry. She could not understand why God
would not grant her this righteous desire.
She
worked as an elementary school teacher, and being around children all
day long simply reminded her that her golden ticket had never appeared.
As the years passed she became more disappointed and withdrawn. People
didn’t like being around her and avoided her whenever they could. She
even took her frustration out on the children at school. She found
herself losing her temper, and she swung between fits of anger and
desperate loneliness.
The
tragedy of this story is that this dear woman, in all her
disappointment about her golden ticket, failed to notice the blessings
she did have. She did not have children
in her home, but she was surrounded by them in her classroom. She was
not blessed with a family, but the Lord had given her an opportunity
few people have—the chance to influence for good the lives of hundreds
of children and families as a teacher.
The lesson here is that if we spend our days waiting for fabulous roses, we could miss the beauty and wonder of the tiny forget-me-nots that are all around us.
This
is not to say that we should abandon hope or temper our goals. Never
stop striving for the best that is within you. Never stop hoping for
all of the righteous desires of your heart. But don’t close your eyes
and hearts to the simple and elegant beauties of each day’s ordinary
moments that make up a rich, well-lived life.
The
happiest people I know are not those who find their golden ticket; they
are those who, while in pursuit of worthy goals, discover and treasure
the beauty and sweetness of the everyday moments. They are the ones
who, thread by daily thread, weave a tapestry of gratitude and wonder throughout their lives. These are they who are truly happy.
Fourth, forget not the “why” of the gospel.
Sometimes, in the routine of our lives, we unintentionally overlook a vital aspect of the gospel of Jesus Christ,
much as one might overlook a beautiful, delicate forget-me-not. In our
diligent efforts to fulfill all of the duties and obligations we take
on as members of the Church, we sometimes see the gospel as a long list
of tasks that we must add to our already impossibly long to-do list, as
a block of time that we must somehow fit into our busy schedules. We
focus on what the Lord wants us to do and how we might do it, but we sometimes forget why.
My dear sisters, the gospel of Jesus Christ
is not an obligation; it is a pathway, marked by our loving Father in
Heaven, leading to happiness and peace in this life and glory and
inexpressible fulfillment in the life to come. The gospel is a light
that penetrates mortality and illuminates the way before us.
While
understanding the “what” and the “how” of the gospel is necessary, the
eternal fire and majesty of the gospel springs from the “why.” When we
understand why our Heavenly Father has given us this pattern for living, when we remember why
we committed to making it a foundational part of our lives, the gospel
ceases to become a burden and, instead, becomes a joy and a delight. It
becomes precious and sweet.
Let
us not walk the path of discipleship with our eyes on the ground,
thinking only of the tasks and obligations before us. Let us not walk
unaware of the beauty of the glorious earthly and spiritual landscapes
that surround us.
My dear sisters, seek out the majesty, the beauty, and the exhilarating joy of the “why” of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
The
“what” and “how” of obedience mark the way and keep us on the right
path. The “why” of obedience sanctifies our actions, transforming the
mundane into the majestic. It magnifies our small acts of obedience
into holy acts of consecration.
Fifth, forget not that the Lord loves you.
As a child, when I would look at the little forget-me-nots,
I sometimes felt a little like that flower—small and insignificant. I
wondered if I would be forgotten by my family or by my Heavenly Father.
Years later I can look back on that young boy with tenderness and compassion. And I do know now—I was never forgotten.
And
I know something else: as an Apostle of our Master, Jesus Christ, I
proclaim with all the certainty and conviction of my heart—neither are
you!
You are not forgotten.
Sisters,
wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be, you are not
forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how
insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you
may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves
you with an infinite love.
Just
think of it: You are known and remembered by the most majestic,
powerful, and glorious Being in the universe! You are loved by the King
of infinite space and everlasting time!
He who created and knows the stars knows you and your name—you are the daughters of His kingdom. The Psalmist wrote:
“When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained;
“What is man, that thou art mindful of him? …
“For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour.”5
God loves you because you are His child. He loves you even though at times you may feel lonely or make mistakes.
The love of God
and the power of the restored gospel are redemptive and saving. If you
will only allow His divine love into your life, it can dress any wound,
heal any hurt, and soften any sorrow.
My
dear Relief Society sisters, you are closer to heaven than you suppose.
You are destined for more than you can possibly imagine. Continue to
increase in faith and personal righteousness. Accept the restored
gospel of Jesus Christ as your way of life. Cherish the gift of
activity in this great and true Church. Treasure the gift of service in
the blessed organization of Relief Society. Continue to strengthen
homes and families. Continue to seek out and help others who need your
and the Lord’s help.
Sisters,
there is something inspiring and sublime about the little forget-me-not
flower. I hope it will be a symbol of the little things that make your
lives joyful and sweet. Please never forget that you must be patient
and compassionate with yourselves, that some sacrifices are better than
others, that you need not wait for a golden ticket to be happy. Please
never forget that the “why” of the gospel of Jesus Christ will inspire
and uplift you. And never forget that your Heavenly Father knows,
loves, and cherishes you.
Thank
you for who you are. Thank you for the countless acts of love and
service you offer up to so many. Thank you for all that you will yet do
to bring the joy of the gospel of Jesus Christ to families, to the
Church, to your communities, and to the nations of the world.
Sisters,
we love you. It is my prayer and blessing that you will never forget
that you are truly precious daughters in God’s kingdom, in the sacred
name of our beloved Savior, Jesus Christ, amen.
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